Huh? a missionary?

Ladawn took this picture of me.

.....

yay?

Back home...

Well summer camp with its crazy kids and its tired counselors is over. No more "Who's poopy underwear are these?" and no more "Blake, your my favorite counselor ever." It makes me sad but its over. I wish everybody could be a counselor at least once. It is demanding and greatly rewarding. 1 day off every 2 weeks means 13 straight days of 15 hour days. No one tells you thanks for the work except maybe the ones you let cut you in the lunch line. But in the end its the ones that love you that matter.....

Now that I am back I spent my first day skydiving with Ann. It was awesome! now I am, I don't know, getting ready to go to the Philippines. Wish me luck. Salude

Today is Sunday Today is Sunday

Once again I have a little time to scrabble a little message here on my posting block. Yesh it is Sunday, and the camp director has given me time to worship and rest. I snuck up to the chapel here and played some hymns and sang for a while and now I am waiting for a ride to the singles ward in Prescott from Rick who lives on campus. Things are going great and I am anxious to get my call.

Other news. I opened a bank one account so they can direct deposit my check there. I figures this was a good idea since uhhhh I spent my last check.....

The youngers are doing a play tonight and I have a major role. (Yay?) Its all the (7-9) years olds except me out there, its going to be great. Whoops, dang it forgot to get their costumes......

YEE-HAW

Bye Ozule

Yes, Ozule the big half draft horse attempted to buck me today. But what kids, who am I, JOHN WAYNE!! So no more riding Ozule for me. I am loving it here. I end every day with a bit of a struggle to say to myself, Good job Blake. But thats okay, because these kids love it and are getting better and are getting more and more into. Hey I made one laugh so hard he peed his pance. Mission Accomplished

WOW

I rode ozule today, a half draft horse that was huge. It was awesome! This is all I have time to say, does that mean I am busy?

Refiners Fire

The Lord does many thing to ensure that we can be tested and can be made better. The trials that we go through have been titled "the Refiners Fire." Most of the time we are not too thankful for these trials but all these things are for our good. Last night I went to Prescott with all the other counselors. Last time they went I stayed home alone and this time I wish I could have. EVERY single counselor drank that night. Well, our driver didn't I think... But still it was bad, I felt horrible, the spirit WILL NOT stay around in that environment. People drinking Jack and Corona's is not the way to ensure the companionship. So it answers one critic. The "how can you know it's wrong unless you've tried it?" Look I was there, the mere presence and consumption of alcohol made me empty, and fast. Another Critic I have learned to answer is the one who has the "Don't get caught attitude." "In the Bible it says only drunkenness, look I love my whiskey and there ain't nothing wrong with that." Okay you can say that, but what is right about it. How great it would be if every righteous decision was a clear white button and every sinful decision was a black one. We would pop through life and perfect beings right? But its not that way, we are being tested and trained! We must learn obedience and faith when it not clearly obvious. This accompanies my belief in being kind and generous. That bum I gave 5 dollars to? What do I expect to get back, I honestly don't expect a "You gave 5 dollars to a bum get out of hell free card." Or even a sin eraser worth 5 dollars of kindness. I expect nothing, the greatest test and triumphs is when a man chooses what's right when no one is watching and when it doesn't seem like he'll get caught.

That's why I was thankful when last night ended and I was reading my scriptures. Look it's a new perspective that might be helpful on a mission, or even more importantly later on in life, when I teach my children....

Long winded?

Meet Blake Gray

Enviromental Issues....

Well, coming to a ranch camp I excpected at least a couple of religious fellow employees instead I got none. It was quite a surprise to find absolutely no religon with most of my cohorts resulted to the default I'm just not ready right now, I don't have the ability to have that kind of faith, and I will do it later. The enviroment is odd with neutral showers (goes back to gender specific in a few days) and very foul mouths and perverted language.... It's true that the spirit is gone in a lot of group setting and so am I. They talk of drinking or there topics are crude so I can't join in, so I am now the quite one..... Odd eh? but thats life, and I find quite releif in reading the scriptures or finding what I want to think about in my mind. I want so badly to go to MTC camp but I have to wait....

Un-en-titled (you have no right to title me)

I saw the change in your eyes,
As I changed from Blake,
to a Mormon guy.

I thought, this wasn't right.
Before I was a person,
now I am covered with ignorant night.

Before you said hello and smiled,
now your greeting is hollow,
and your excitment mild.

I have not changed a fiber,
I'm still the same ole' boy,
But how can I be a liar.

How can I deny my faith,
What horrible thing is asked.
Why would I withdraw my face,
When asked about my past.
Should I become a sculpture,
And shape myself each day.
That is not what I hoped'for.
I hoped I was what I say.
I hoped I was a real person.
I hoped I was a single being.
Now the situation will worsen,
as you turn to blanket me.

I guess I will have to smile,
as you turn your intuition away.
I will not meet you with guile,
As I enter the fray.
As I face the duty,
of being an example today.
Please God, please root for me.
As my face is replaced.
I am still me, you know me.
But I would rather them see your face.
I'd rather them feel your love,
not mine.
I'd rather them look above,
then to me.
I'm thankful I am your child,
I'm thankful for what I have.
But don't you; Ally, feel a bit odd,
when you miss my face?

Don't replace me Ally,
Why do you miss my soul?
I am just a peice,
not a carbon-copy of the whole.

I know I'm an emissary,
Just a little reluctant to accept the role,
But I beleive in this work,
With every bit of my soul.
So bless me in my weakness,
Make my soul stand strong.
Because no matter how I look,
If I serve you,
I can't go wrong.

Summer Camp Blues

well, first day of summer camp blues and that was because it is Sunday. Today we got off early at 5 and everybody went to Prescott to shop, which I abstained from, which is why I am lonely and sad and have time to write this little post. Things here have been a little bit diffucult lately, no one here is a hint religous, I only here the Lords name when it is used in vain. Most of the questions and respect are good but there have been questions asked where they don't want an answer, they just want to ask a diffucult question. I have done nicely though firing from the hip like JOHN WAYNE (or GRAMPA CROSBY) Church was bad too, not only did I not know anyone but there like was no youth, there were 5 of them and 4 of them left (including me) after sacrament meeting. I didn't want to make my ride who came out to get me stay. I didn't want to stay either. Which is bad because I got up and bore my testimony and then left after. I'm hoping to go to Prescott single ward next week, but I'll see if that Rick guy who lives on campus and who is LDS still lives here and goes every Sunday.

Everything truly is fine and dandy, but it wouldn't hurt to pray for better Sundays...

Quotes

"When the kids see you, you are John Wayne. BE John Wayne"
-Tim Magell

"Can I pack heat on the horse"
- Frank, Franky, or Francios the frenchman
Seriously he asked this, his secret friend gave him a toy pistol which he accidentally was wearing.

Orme Summer Camp

Well now I am at Orme Summer Ranch Camp. I have already saddled and caught a horse and tonight I will saddle and ride my own. At this point I am still a greeny, but soon I will be, in the words of summer camp leader Tim Magelle "John Wayne." I have had a blast so far and the experience looks promising. I'll filled an odd role so far, those of you who know me, know this is weird, they think of me as the "Mormon kid who goes into his room to read all the time, and is really quite" I really am intimidated by this enviroment really but Ally has been really nice and taught me how to saddle etc. and Pete really took me uinder his wing for the first 30 minutes (then I retreated to his room.) The boots fill great, and so do the wranglers. The only complaint that I have with clothes is I killed four, what they say is, Daddy Longlegs after shaking my pants to loose the after one night infestation. The only complaint I have with that classification of the Daddy Longlegs is that they have major ghetto Booty and I remember them more like my sister Leslie. lol. I can't wait to get crackin with all the kids and everyone here, and it might be a little diffucult. But no matter what I must remember, "Be John Wayne"

Talmage Burleson

Well after not seeing Talmage for a long time, the tall lean machine and I finally got together anddddd played starcraft and sat around and talked. It was good, the guy hasn't changed that much, well he has but certain things are still the same. He has 20+ character passwords which he can memorize with ease, but fails to remember where he put his mail key. He is still way into computers and has this monitor I am typing on right now which is gosh, bigger then my TV. In fact it's one of those TV/moniter things which normally run around $2,500 dollars but he worked for best buy on got the discount so it was "only" $1,200. As always he insisted I stay up all night playing on his screaming fast machine and stay at his house the next day as he and his wife would be gone to work and I could stay here and play all I wanted. His wife is a graphic designer and he is getting about a billion certifications from microsoft to networking to one that only Talmage could acheive - Ability to send a technical message to MSI motherboard in which it ends with 8 greeting, Allah be with you, God bless you, I love you, and how much would could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood. Such an easy going funny guy. It's good seeing him again....

Star Wars and the Gospel

For those of you who don't know I am a huge fan of Star Wars. Always have been, probably always will be. I am also a huge fan of the gospel of Jesus Christ. But, alas, what really hit me about the new Star Wars movie was a lavish and rich opportunity to draw a comparison to the Preisthood. There are two principals of the preisthood that are very very important to take into account. One, the preisthood's sole purpose is to bless Heavenly Father's children and will only work when the preisthood holder is worthy and the purpose or blessing given is in accordance with the will of God. (loosely quoted as I don't have the source) "When one seeks to use the preisthood to gain power over another, amen to the authority of that Preisthood holder." - (A really good guy) Two, is that holding the preisthood is giving allegiance to God, following him and trusting in his ways. Anakin (Pre-darth) had the force (Preisthood) and he was on the light side. One quote from the movie that can be likened to the power of the light side and the preisthood is when Anakin says "The light side is self-less" You cannot give yourself a blessing, the preisthood exists for the blessing of others. But Anakin had a dark secret that he was hiding, he was married to Padme (Queen Amidala and later Luke and Leia's mother) and Padme was pregnant. Anakin had made a bond there, he had acted outside of the ways of the force. Padme's pregnancy (addiction) forced him to no longer be able to be selfless, he was no longer able to act within the ways of the force. Instead of admitting this and committing to a sort of repentance he was fearful. The big decision began to be made as he started having dreams that Padme would die in labor. Was Padme supposed to die in labor, was it her destiny? Yes, it was. The Jedi Master's advice to him was prepare for the departure of the loved one. But Anakin couldn't handle that. He wanted power. He wasn't selfless now, Padme and HIS CHILDREN were know a major part of who he was. Now he needed more power, a promise made to him by Darth Sidous that if he joined the dark side he would have that power. He wanted an extreme power promised him by Darth Sidous, the power to stop people from dying (Which in no way is a power that Satan can give) He was fighting fate, fighting a decision made by something in charge of everything. This can be likened to fighting God. It is sad though, the light side is the power of healing, the dark side is the power of death. What he really needed was healing, for a path, for knowledge of his purpose, To do good. It was hard to watch as Anakin and Padme were arguing after Anakin's siege at the temple, and as Padme started to realize that what she wanted was no longer there. That Anakin was no longer a Jedi (righteous preisthood holder) but a Sith Lord (John Kerry, lol) If only, in only Anakin had remained true to the truth he could've been there for his wife, instead when she came to him he hurt her.... What Padme really needed was a kind and self-less Jedi (A righteous preisthood holder). Liken that to preisthood holders themselves. There will be times that we are called on to give a blessing or to be a blessing to others. Are we worthy? AT ALL TIMES, are we worthy and ready?

The flip side of the force is darkness. There is a light side and a dark side. There is good and evil. There is a God and a devil. There is the Savior's fold and there is those fooled by Satan. And what reward is given to those who labor for Satan? "for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." 2 Nephi 2:27 How was Anakin rewarded for his obedience to Darth Sidious? Remember the way Darth Sidious told Darth Vader that Darth Vader had killed Padme in his anger. Then as Darth Vader stepped forward and yelled out in anger the way that Darth Sidious sat in the background smiling, probably thinking "yes, yes, give in to your anger, be a slave to your pain."

In the end we must realize in this struggle for out souls that it is us who chooses what fold we are in, who we follow, and what actions we take with the situations presented us.


2 Ne. 2: 27 - Book of Mormon
27 Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

flipping steak is tooo snnnnnoooorrrreeee

Hard working father

Elder Gray

Elder Gray

YESH!!!!!! finally

mission papers are in. Nuff said. Look at my new profile picture.

Repentant and volunteer flowers

I was longboarding to the gas station to get a drink. (several reasons for this, first I was sick of packing, second there is a hill leading to the gas station so it looked like fun, and third because I just bought a longboard and since my job on the ranch starts on the 30th I got start using it.) Anyway, on my way I saw Mrs. Broadbent outside working in her garden. She has always been a great neighbor and she is so nice, so I stopped to help her. We were working and there were some dead flowers and I asked her if she wanted me to dig them up, and she replied. "I was hoping they would repent, but they just wouldn't come around." Later on she pointed out some plants and told me she didn't know what they were and that they were just volunteer flowers. I wanna be old, they are so funny.

More proof that SJ is the same

This morning I was awoken by the knocking of the fat kids from across the street asking to jump on the tramp. I seems audacious to you, but in SJ kids do it all the time it drives me crazy. We honestly believe if they get hurt there parents won't sue us. Then they yell at me to watch the "CHOKE SLAM" and then yell at me to watch it again. I don't care at all, unless you give me the op. to choke slam you off the tramp...

Home in Saint Johns

Getting more was highly relieving. Which was odd since I dreaded being home again. I was afraid of seeing this person and that, I had some apprehensions about the social scene in good ole' SJ. But getting here the first thing I did was hang out with Ben Brown and scramble to make Jordan Rothlisburger hang out with before I got home and all we did was play some basketball, some risk, and sit around and watch the suns game. It was good, it was Saint Johns. The best was seeing Mrs. Broadbent my neighbor and taking her some peas, broccoli, and salad that my mom had made and wanted me to take to her. She and her husband were happy to just have me sit down and talk a while and were so happy for the assistance. (Her husband has had some medical problems lately, they are older) The best feeling was just coming back to where your home, where people greet you with a smile like, "oh Blake, its so good having you home again." It the people that make this ugly town beautiful.
P.S. I found a summer job, working at Orme Summer Camp for kids and teenagers. Though the intrinsic value of is low ($1100 for the summer) the extrinsic benefit are great. I am going to be a mentor to the 5 kids I will be living with that will come and go. I will constantly monitor them and take care of them. It's great because some of the most special moments in my life is when I have felt like, honestly, a father to my nieces and nephews. (I don't know, I say a father because it is a glorified uncle) I'm so excited. You? (Work start may 30 and ends either late July or August)

My last blog at college...

Well thats it. It's all done and said. I'm so home to be ready. But then again, I have to job a find. thats fun no. ): I wonder where my blog will go after this, more imortant what I will be when the years come around and find me here again. Just remember Blake, when times get hard, he's there, the phantom of the opera. (I watched it around 20 times in almost a week.)

ahh sweet serenity.... I'm going home...
Dr. Blake Gray

School year is ending. New rules for summer.

Seeing as I will proly have either a new audience or no audience for my blog (my current audience average is around 2) as soon as summer hits. Here are no rules. No being too serious, no chest thumping orangutang stuff etc. Okey Dokey?

Hey mom!

I need you to go to the website http://www.ormecamp.org/ormecamp.aspx?pgID=879
and click on the references link. Print off three and distribute them to Donna, Otis Connely, and Mrs. Burdick. Thanks mom and the link to the family blog is http://lmgrayfamily.blogspot.com/

A little more on Evan

You know, that last comment made Evan look like a prick. For some reason I feel okay when I say things that makes Brady look bad, but he does them in good fun and Even was dead serious. So I will proceed to get churchy and tell you how Evan taught me humility. You see at the beginning of the year in missionary prep we all had to give a short little talk. I took quotes from each person and even proudly added my own, went home and typed it up and posted it at the foot of my bed. Every night I would look at it and look at how the only thing I could squeeze out of what Evan had to say was "I will go and do." Then I would proudly look at my own well articulated phrase and be proud that I had, I don't know, mastered the art of crafting my religious words so well. But now I'm so embarrassed of that. I'f only we'd all go and do. Evan is putting in his missionary papers now, and I have to wait. What if I had "gone and done" instead of mucky-mucked my snobby way into a little trouble. Sure its all in the past, but really what do the prophets tell us when they are at the pulpit. Simple things to go and do (and not do.) When President Hinckley wakes up in the morning he doesn't start with a heavenly manifestation, he starts by praying and reading his scriptures. Besides in a missionary respect, the best articulator of the gospel is the Holy Ghost and Christ himself. We are magnified a hundred fold if we but "go and say" what the Lord is whispering. Perhaps if my mouth were shut and not babbling on, perhaps I would have heard sooner.

Evan Quotes

"How much do you get for graduation, I guarentee you guys got more then me. ... I only got 2 grand."
- hmmm that means you got more then all of us all right, put together.


"I'm not rich, we don't even make a million dollars"
- His denial at Wendy's when we called him rich

It's been a while

Yes, I know. Sorry. I have been very busy, on top of being Blake Gray, which can be a strain from all the media attention I get, I also have bee nvery busy with finals. Which I am happy to report, have gone extremely well. .... I think, nonetheless I expect about 3 A's and 2 B's or better to come out of this semester, which is okay. I guess. My summer plans are shaping up right now I am applying to work at a summer camp. It should be fun, there is a military one right by where I live but, uh, military. Hmmmm Blake = lazy, Military = intolerant of lazy people like me. I might try to get a job at that one too. Reform a few buggers. School is almost over, its crazy. I'll miss my friends and classmates a lot... especially occasionally seeing girls and being able to fantasize that their wonderful people and have great morals to go with their beauty, which is in no short supply at ASU. Morals? Rare as diamonds, and thats what were looking for. Diamonds. So naturally we got nothing, we'll just go on missions.

Brainstorming

Just wanted to give my fans all a chance to interact in my life.....
Okay so here's the deal gang. We want to play a trick on the girls upstairs but don't want to do something thats been done before. So we need your suggestion, thats right, you can make a difference.

My take on the President's Remarks

Friday, April 29, 2005
Presidential talk-athon

So the president concluded his remarks about his plan for the future of America. Social Security, Iraq, Bolton, and the energy crisis were discussed. Me being me I scrutinized what the president had to say about Social Security, Iraq, and the energy crisis the most.

But a short note on Bolton, The Democratic senator from New Mexico stated that though he would not vote for Bolton he does feel that Bolton should be allowed to have his office. The reason, the president is the man who selects his cabinets, the filibuster, or nuclear options are new ways to mangle the presidents plan. The problem with an unchecked cabinet is the fact that voting for a president does not include voting for his cabinet. With attention spans as low as they are the presidential campaign does not include and in-depth look at the president's cabinet. How could they? Has the president even decided who he is going to elect by that time? The problem with filibuster is that we decide the president and he decides the cabinet, and we know little or nothing about his choices. Who knows about Bolton, I certainly want a blunt man in charge of US relations to the quagmire (A democrat term admittedly) that the UN is. But is he the best man for the job? Who decides. Well the president, and there is little or no democracy or republic when we can't vote for an important post like that. Admittedly, Bolton does fit the outlines that Bush had for his country, so if you voted for Bush, you can say you expected Bolton. By the by, I approve of Bolton. (that wasn't a short note at all.)

Social Security The problem with social security is clearly a partisan problem. Whether the date that the system will become insolvent is 2041 (Bush used this number in his speech) or 2056ish (the Congressional Budget Office's estimate) it is mutually decided it will become insolvent. If it becomes insolvent then we have two things, broken promises to people who have paid into the system all these years, and a truly privatized account system. It is a problem, and to those who say its a problem Republican's have brought up I say, yeah, your right, Republican President Bill Clinton was the first to raise Social Security as an issue. By any account there is a major crisis looming without a fix. I have been very pleased that there is no true Bush plan, you idiots who oppose it, your opposing your own plan. Bush has set up general guidelines for what he thinks will work and now wants to send it to congress to get decided upon. Being open is something Bush is often criticized for not being, on now he does it and you shut him down, come on now. Even when I was little I wanted private accounts, not that I knew what that was but I always felt that if I could take care of my own money I would do better with it then the government. I think its sad that the government has to force our citizens (with payroll taxes) to not blow their money they should be saving for their future. I know that one argument is an example argument that Crawford county Texas does it and its working great, and the entire country of Chile is doing it with crazy good returns. But what they don't say is Argentina is doing it and it is terrible. An Econ TA for Roberts is from Argentina and he brought up the point which Dan (another TA) said, its because your government is corrupt. Which TA Argentina replied, it is true. Look enough blabbing, Democrats need to stop moping and fix this, its bad enough that I can single out a group of people that are moping around in the first place. I want a better social security in the future, one where my returns are better then what I would receive with the current plan. To those who doubt privizitation because of wall street fears I say, that's a good point, and Bush has said its a voluntary option, you can go straight bonds if you want.

Iraq Look, we know that Saddam had WMA's because he used them in Iran and against his own people the Kurds. You can still argue, and may be right that he didn't have them when Bush claimed that he did. But he still did have them, and when US intelligence, Russian intelligence, and British intelligence, all say they have WMA's now I think its better, in the words of Bush, "To assume that he has them, rather then assume he doesn't and be wrong." I always had a problem with the missing WMA's because that was Bush probably using fear to get us to go to war. But what I wanted to hear is what he is saying now, We wants to liberate oppressed people, stop the mass graves and concentration camps, and work for peace in the mid-east. I do not believe that Bush, as ballsy as he is, led us to war in Iraq because he had a personal grudge, or could get personal gain from oil. Some say it is a war for oil, I disagree, but still can say at least it would alleviate our Energy Crisis.

Energy Bill. Okay, for those reporters grilling the president about energy prices. What makes you think the President likes higher gas prices. We seek blame in our society, but what benefit would the president have from foreign crude oil being more expensive? The energy bill is not a quick fix, but it is sorely needed. The only way to alleviate short term pains from the gas crunch is to lower the price of oil which Bush says comes from coercing other countries to increase capacity to lower prices (I checked up with the theory of demand-pull inflation, and it would work) The plan that Bush is pushing is a long term fix, for goodness sake, who would do a long term fix, it wouldn't help his approval rating? Bush claims that it should have been done long ago, and since were having an "energy crisis" now he may be right. I don't believe we are having a crisis by the way, the reason we are freaking out is because gas hits us where we live, at the margin. To prove my point, the savings rate in the US is now below ONE FRIGGIN PERCENT.
I think we need to decrease dependancy on not only foreign oil, but also domestic oil. In fact, all oil. WE need to look for, as Bush stated more ecologically safe ways to produce energy. Bush of course will not be lauded for his push for cleaner energy, the same way he got nothing for women's right when he freed Afghanistan from the Taliban.

Overall, I think I like Bush's plan for the future, because it is refreshingly non-quick-fix oriented. Politics as usual often makes politicians want to make moves to improve the appearance, but forget to fix the problem there-in. Long term goals are what are important in moving a society forward.

I accept all comments as long as they are rational, and excuse myself from any misquotes or misspelling as I wrote this after tossing and turning in my bed another sleepless night.

Poem I wrote a long time ago about why I write Poetry

This pen makes sense,
perfect sense.
Like red blood,
this pure ink tells the depth,
The Sorrow, The Pains,
things that make me break into song.
So in confidential nights,
I drop tears of ink onto perfectly understanding pages,
and I feel alright.

Brady Quotes

"Don't worry, the birds will eat it."
-as he was throwing a DVD out in the patio

"I let him win cause I feel bad about slavery."
-Brady explaining why he lost in Halo 2 to an african-american

Short Pencils

In Psychology the professor handed out course evalution sheets and had a stack of short pencils. Thats when it hit me! Short pencils are just recycled used eraser pencils. Nobody makes short pencils, thats where those pencils you don't know what happened to go to. You used up the eraser and you don't care what happens to it, so you just let it go. Then some one comes and takes your pencil, hacks off the eraser end, and makes a stubby little pencil. There are pencil collectors everywhere raiding school campuses in order to get more used eraser pencils to recycle. There sort of like those brown recycled paper we used to use in first grade, nobody like those either!

School.

To be truthful school should be over. COME ON ALREADY!!! I'm tired and sick. I'm sick of being tired. This summer will be an adventure, maybe. Actually what the heck am I going to do. OH NO!! Given all the negative image of school in the last year though, I do want to state that I have learned one thing. That is to not dress like the posted picture and strut around like the "bleep" gobbler.

I don't do this anymore!!