Finals week. Man this is crazy, finals are coming up and I am borderline A or B in pretty much all my classes. I hate finals. This is just kind of a post because I haven't posted forever but seriously, I hate finals.

Huh? a missionary?

Ladawn took this picture of me.

.....

yay?

Back home...

Well summer camp with its crazy kids and its tired counselors is over. No more "Who's poopy underwear are these?" and no more "Blake, your my favorite counselor ever." It makes me sad but its over. I wish everybody could be a counselor at least once. It is demanding and greatly rewarding. 1 day off every 2 weeks means 13 straight days of 15 hour days. No one tells you thanks for the work except maybe the ones you let cut you in the lunch line. But in the end its the ones that love you that matter.....

Now that I am back I spent my first day skydiving with Ann. It was awesome! now I am, I don't know, getting ready to go to the Philippines. Wish me luck. Salude

Today is Sunday Today is Sunday

Once again I have a little time to scrabble a little message here on my posting block. Yesh it is Sunday, and the camp director has given me time to worship and rest. I snuck up to the chapel here and played some hymns and sang for a while and now I am waiting for a ride to the singles ward in Prescott from Rick who lives on campus. Things are going great and I am anxious to get my call.

Other news. I opened a bank one account so they can direct deposit my check there. I figures this was a good idea since uhhhh I spent my last check.....

The youngers are doing a play tonight and I have a major role. (Yay?) Its all the (7-9) years olds except me out there, its going to be great. Whoops, dang it forgot to get their costumes......

YEE-HAW

Bye Ozule

Yes, Ozule the big half draft horse attempted to buck me today. But what kids, who am I, JOHN WAYNE!! So no more riding Ozule for me. I am loving it here. I end every day with a bit of a struggle to say to myself, Good job Blake. But thats okay, because these kids love it and are getting better and are getting more and more into. Hey I made one laugh so hard he peed his pance. Mission Accomplished

WOW

I rode ozule today, a half draft horse that was huge. It was awesome! This is all I have time to say, does that mean I am busy?

Refiners Fire

The Lord does many thing to ensure that we can be tested and can be made better. The trials that we go through have been titled "the Refiners Fire." Most of the time we are not too thankful for these trials but all these things are for our good. Last night I went to Prescott with all the other counselors. Last time they went I stayed home alone and this time I wish I could have. EVERY single counselor drank that night. Well, our driver didn't I think... But still it was bad, I felt horrible, the spirit WILL NOT stay around in that environment. People drinking Jack and Corona's is not the way to ensure the companionship. So it answers one critic. The "how can you know it's wrong unless you've tried it?" Look I was there, the mere presence and consumption of alcohol made me empty, and fast. Another Critic I have learned to answer is the one who has the "Don't get caught attitude." "In the Bible it says only drunkenness, look I love my whiskey and there ain't nothing wrong with that." Okay you can say that, but what is right about it. How great it would be if every righteous decision was a clear white button and every sinful decision was a black one. We would pop through life and perfect beings right? But its not that way, we are being tested and trained! We must learn obedience and faith when it not clearly obvious. This accompanies my belief in being kind and generous. That bum I gave 5 dollars to? What do I expect to get back, I honestly don't expect a "You gave 5 dollars to a bum get out of hell free card." Or even a sin eraser worth 5 dollars of kindness. I expect nothing, the greatest test and triumphs is when a man chooses what's right when no one is watching and when it doesn't seem like he'll get caught.

That's why I was thankful when last night ended and I was reading my scriptures. Look it's a new perspective that might be helpful on a mission, or even more importantly later on in life, when I teach my children....

Long winded?

Meet Blake Gray

Enviromental Issues....

Well, coming to a ranch camp I excpected at least a couple of religious fellow employees instead I got none. It was quite a surprise to find absolutely no religon with most of my cohorts resulted to the default I'm just not ready right now, I don't have the ability to have that kind of faith, and I will do it later. The enviroment is odd with neutral showers (goes back to gender specific in a few days) and very foul mouths and perverted language.... It's true that the spirit is gone in a lot of group setting and so am I. They talk of drinking or there topics are crude so I can't join in, so I am now the quite one..... Odd eh? but thats life, and I find quite releif in reading the scriptures or finding what I want to think about in my mind. I want so badly to go to MTC camp but I have to wait....

Un-en-titled (you have no right to title me)

I saw the change in your eyes,
As I changed from Blake,
to a Mormon guy.

I thought, this wasn't right.
Before I was a person,
now I am covered with ignorant night.

Before you said hello and smiled,
now your greeting is hollow,
and your excitment mild.

I have not changed a fiber,
I'm still the same ole' boy,
But how can I be a liar.

How can I deny my faith,
What horrible thing is asked.
Why would I withdraw my face,
When asked about my past.
Should I become a sculpture,
And shape myself each day.
That is not what I hoped'for.
I hoped I was what I say.
I hoped I was a real person.
I hoped I was a single being.
Now the situation will worsen,
as you turn to blanket me.

I guess I will have to smile,
as you turn your intuition away.
I will not meet you with guile,
As I enter the fray.
As I face the duty,
of being an example today.
Please God, please root for me.
As my face is replaced.
I am still me, you know me.
But I would rather them see your face.
I'd rather them feel your love,
not mine.
I'd rather them look above,
then to me.
I'm thankful I am your child,
I'm thankful for what I have.
But don't you; Ally, feel a bit odd,
when you miss my face?

Don't replace me Ally,
Why do you miss my soul?
I am just a peice,
not a carbon-copy of the whole.

I know I'm an emissary,
Just a little reluctant to accept the role,
But I beleive in this work,
With every bit of my soul.
So bless me in my weakness,
Make my soul stand strong.
Because no matter how I look,
If I serve you,
I can't go wrong.

Summer Camp Blues

well, first day of summer camp blues and that was because it is Sunday. Today we got off early at 5 and everybody went to Prescott to shop, which I abstained from, which is why I am lonely and sad and have time to write this little post. Things here have been a little bit diffucult lately, no one here is a hint religous, I only here the Lords name when it is used in vain. Most of the questions and respect are good but there have been questions asked where they don't want an answer, they just want to ask a diffucult question. I have done nicely though firing from the hip like JOHN WAYNE (or GRAMPA CROSBY) Church was bad too, not only did I not know anyone but there like was no youth, there were 5 of them and 4 of them left (including me) after sacrament meeting. I didn't want to make my ride who came out to get me stay. I didn't want to stay either. Which is bad because I got up and bore my testimony and then left after. I'm hoping to go to Prescott single ward next week, but I'll see if that Rick guy who lives on campus and who is LDS still lives here and goes every Sunday.

Everything truly is fine and dandy, but it wouldn't hurt to pray for better Sundays...

Quotes

"When the kids see you, you are John Wayne. BE John Wayne"
-Tim Magell

"Can I pack heat on the horse"
- Frank, Franky, or Francios the frenchman
Seriously he asked this, his secret friend gave him a toy pistol which he accidentally was wearing.

Orme Summer Camp

Well now I am at Orme Summer Ranch Camp. I have already saddled and caught a horse and tonight I will saddle and ride my own. At this point I am still a greeny, but soon I will be, in the words of summer camp leader Tim Magelle "John Wayne." I have had a blast so far and the experience looks promising. I'll filled an odd role so far, those of you who know me, know this is weird, they think of me as the "Mormon kid who goes into his room to read all the time, and is really quite" I really am intimidated by this enviroment really but Ally has been really nice and taught me how to saddle etc. and Pete really took me uinder his wing for the first 30 minutes (then I retreated to his room.) The boots fill great, and so do the wranglers. The only complaint that I have with clothes is I killed four, what they say is, Daddy Longlegs after shaking my pants to loose the after one night infestation. The only complaint I have with that classification of the Daddy Longlegs is that they have major ghetto Booty and I remember them more like my sister Leslie. lol. I can't wait to get crackin with all the kids and everyone here, and it might be a little diffucult. But no matter what I must remember, "Be John Wayne"

Talmage Burleson

Well after not seeing Talmage for a long time, the tall lean machine and I finally got together anddddd played starcraft and sat around and talked. It was good, the guy hasn't changed that much, well he has but certain things are still the same. He has 20+ character passwords which he can memorize with ease, but fails to remember where he put his mail key. He is still way into computers and has this monitor I am typing on right now which is gosh, bigger then my TV. In fact it's one of those TV/moniter things which normally run around $2,500 dollars but he worked for best buy on got the discount so it was "only" $1,200. As always he insisted I stay up all night playing on his screaming fast machine and stay at his house the next day as he and his wife would be gone to work and I could stay here and play all I wanted. His wife is a graphic designer and he is getting about a billion certifications from microsoft to networking to one that only Talmage could acheive - Ability to send a technical message to MSI motherboard in which it ends with 8 greeting, Allah be with you, God bless you, I love you, and how much would could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood. Such an easy going funny guy. It's good seeing him again....

Star Wars and the Gospel

For those of you who don't know I am a huge fan of Star Wars. Always have been, probably always will be. I am also a huge fan of the gospel of Jesus Christ. But, alas, what really hit me about the new Star Wars movie was a lavish and rich opportunity to draw a comparison to the Preisthood. There are two principals of the preisthood that are very very important to take into account. One, the preisthood's sole purpose is to bless Heavenly Father's children and will only work when the preisthood holder is worthy and the purpose or blessing given is in accordance with the will of God. (loosely quoted as I don't have the source) "When one seeks to use the preisthood to gain power over another, amen to the authority of that Preisthood holder." - (A really good guy) Two, is that holding the preisthood is giving allegiance to God, following him and trusting in his ways. Anakin (Pre-darth) had the force (Preisthood) and he was on the light side. One quote from the movie that can be likened to the power of the light side and the preisthood is when Anakin says "The light side is self-less" You cannot give yourself a blessing, the preisthood exists for the blessing of others. But Anakin had a dark secret that he was hiding, he was married to Padme (Queen Amidala and later Luke and Leia's mother) and Padme was pregnant. Anakin had made a bond there, he had acted outside of the ways of the force. Padme's pregnancy (addiction) forced him to no longer be able to be selfless, he was no longer able to act within the ways of the force. Instead of admitting this and committing to a sort of repentance he was fearful. The big decision began to be made as he started having dreams that Padme would die in labor. Was Padme supposed to die in labor, was it her destiny? Yes, it was. The Jedi Master's advice to him was prepare for the departure of the loved one. But Anakin couldn't handle that. He wanted power. He wasn't selfless now, Padme and HIS CHILDREN were know a major part of who he was. Now he needed more power, a promise made to him by Darth Sidous that if he joined the dark side he would have that power. He wanted an extreme power promised him by Darth Sidous, the power to stop people from dying (Which in no way is a power that Satan can give) He was fighting fate, fighting a decision made by something in charge of everything. This can be likened to fighting God. It is sad though, the light side is the power of healing, the dark side is the power of death. What he really needed was healing, for a path, for knowledge of his purpose, To do good. It was hard to watch as Anakin and Padme were arguing after Anakin's siege at the temple, and as Padme started to realize that what she wanted was no longer there. That Anakin was no longer a Jedi (righteous preisthood holder) but a Sith Lord (John Kerry, lol) If only, in only Anakin had remained true to the truth he could've been there for his wife, instead when she came to him he hurt her.... What Padme really needed was a kind and self-less Jedi (A righteous preisthood holder). Liken that to preisthood holders themselves. There will be times that we are called on to give a blessing or to be a blessing to others. Are we worthy? AT ALL TIMES, are we worthy and ready?

The flip side of the force is darkness. There is a light side and a dark side. There is good and evil. There is a God and a devil. There is the Savior's fold and there is those fooled by Satan. And what reward is given to those who labor for Satan? "for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." 2 Nephi 2:27 How was Anakin rewarded for his obedience to Darth Sidious? Remember the way Darth Sidious told Darth Vader that Darth Vader had killed Padme in his anger. Then as Darth Vader stepped forward and yelled out in anger the way that Darth Sidious sat in the background smiling, probably thinking "yes, yes, give in to your anger, be a slave to your pain."

In the end we must realize in this struggle for out souls that it is us who chooses what fold we are in, who we follow, and what actions we take with the situations presented us.


2 Ne. 2: 27 - Book of Mormon
27 Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

flipping steak is tooo snnnnnoooorrrreeee

Hard working father

Elder Gray

Elder Gray

YESH!!!!!! finally

mission papers are in. Nuff said. Look at my new profile picture.

Repentant and volunteer flowers

I was longboarding to the gas station to get a drink. (several reasons for this, first I was sick of packing, second there is a hill leading to the gas station so it looked like fun, and third because I just bought a longboard and since my job on the ranch starts on the 30th I got start using it.) Anyway, on my way I saw Mrs. Broadbent outside working in her garden. She has always been a great neighbor and she is so nice, so I stopped to help her. We were working and there were some dead flowers and I asked her if she wanted me to dig them up, and she replied. "I was hoping they would repent, but they just wouldn't come around." Later on she pointed out some plants and told me she didn't know what they were and that they were just volunteer flowers. I wanna be old, they are so funny.

More proof that SJ is the same

This morning I was awoken by the knocking of the fat kids from across the street asking to jump on the tramp. I seems audacious to you, but in SJ kids do it all the time it drives me crazy. We honestly believe if they get hurt there parents won't sue us. Then they yell at me to watch the "CHOKE SLAM" and then yell at me to watch it again. I don't care at all, unless you give me the op. to choke slam you off the tramp...