What I want

What I want is to be able to walk away,
and not care, not be afraid.
Afraid you will laugh harder than before,
Afraid you will love more and more.
What I want is to be able to shrink and fade,
and make what we were to dissipate.
I'd hate for forever this taste to hang,
for the happiness and joy forever remain.
Contort, rewrite, make joy into pain.
Hate, be clever and waste each refrain,
that sings and flow, instead constipate
I want to be able to wink and evade.
Make you afraid that I will be there forever more.
Make you afraid you will never laugh as hard as before.
I won't care, I won't be afraid,
But I still won't be able to walk away.