Today is Sunday Today is Sunday

Once again I have a little time to scrabble a little message here on my posting block. Yesh it is Sunday, and the camp director has given me time to worship and rest. I snuck up to the chapel here and played some hymns and sang for a while and now I am waiting for a ride to the singles ward in Prescott from Rick who lives on campus. Things are going great and I am anxious to get my call.

Other news. I opened a bank one account so they can direct deposit my check there. I figures this was a good idea since uhhhh I spent my last check.....

The youngers are doing a play tonight and I have a major role. (Yay?) Its all the (7-9) years olds except me out there, its going to be great. Whoops, dang it forgot to get their costumes......

YEE-HAW

Bye Ozule

Yes, Ozule the big half draft horse attempted to buck me today. But what kids, who am I, JOHN WAYNE!! So no more riding Ozule for me. I am loving it here. I end every day with a bit of a struggle to say to myself, Good job Blake. But thats okay, because these kids love it and are getting better and are getting more and more into. Hey I made one laugh so hard he peed his pance. Mission Accomplished

WOW

I rode ozule today, a half draft horse that was huge. It was awesome! This is all I have time to say, does that mean I am busy?

Refiners Fire

The Lord does many thing to ensure that we can be tested and can be made better. The trials that we go through have been titled "the Refiners Fire." Most of the time we are not too thankful for these trials but all these things are for our good. Last night I went to Prescott with all the other counselors. Last time they went I stayed home alone and this time I wish I could have. EVERY single counselor drank that night. Well, our driver didn't I think... But still it was bad, I felt horrible, the spirit WILL NOT stay around in that environment. People drinking Jack and Corona's is not the way to ensure the companionship. So it answers one critic. The "how can you know it's wrong unless you've tried it?" Look I was there, the mere presence and consumption of alcohol made me empty, and fast. Another Critic I have learned to answer is the one who has the "Don't get caught attitude." "In the Bible it says only drunkenness, look I love my whiskey and there ain't nothing wrong with that." Okay you can say that, but what is right about it. How great it would be if every righteous decision was a clear white button and every sinful decision was a black one. We would pop through life and perfect beings right? But its not that way, we are being tested and trained! We must learn obedience and faith when it not clearly obvious. This accompanies my belief in being kind and generous. That bum I gave 5 dollars to? What do I expect to get back, I honestly don't expect a "You gave 5 dollars to a bum get out of hell free card." Or even a sin eraser worth 5 dollars of kindness. I expect nothing, the greatest test and triumphs is when a man chooses what's right when no one is watching and when it doesn't seem like he'll get caught.

That's why I was thankful when last night ended and I was reading my scriptures. Look it's a new perspective that might be helpful on a mission, or even more importantly later on in life, when I teach my children....

Long winded?

Meet Blake Gray

Enviromental Issues....

Well, coming to a ranch camp I excpected at least a couple of religious fellow employees instead I got none. It was quite a surprise to find absolutely no religon with most of my cohorts resulted to the default I'm just not ready right now, I don't have the ability to have that kind of faith, and I will do it later. The enviroment is odd with neutral showers (goes back to gender specific in a few days) and very foul mouths and perverted language.... It's true that the spirit is gone in a lot of group setting and so am I. They talk of drinking or there topics are crude so I can't join in, so I am now the quite one..... Odd eh? but thats life, and I find quite releif in reading the scriptures or finding what I want to think about in my mind. I want so badly to go to MTC camp but I have to wait....

Un-en-titled (you have no right to title me)

I saw the change in your eyes,
As I changed from Blake,
to a Mormon guy.

I thought, this wasn't right.
Before I was a person,
now I am covered with ignorant night.

Before you said hello and smiled,
now your greeting is hollow,
and your excitment mild.

I have not changed a fiber,
I'm still the same ole' boy,
But how can I be a liar.

How can I deny my faith,
What horrible thing is asked.
Why would I withdraw my face,
When asked about my past.
Should I become a sculpture,
And shape myself each day.
That is not what I hoped'for.
I hoped I was what I say.
I hoped I was a real person.
I hoped I was a single being.
Now the situation will worsen,
as you turn to blanket me.

I guess I will have to smile,
as you turn your intuition away.
I will not meet you with guile,
As I enter the fray.
As I face the duty,
of being an example today.
Please God, please root for me.
As my face is replaced.
I am still me, you know me.
But I would rather them see your face.
I'd rather them feel your love,
not mine.
I'd rather them look above,
then to me.
I'm thankful I am your child,
I'm thankful for what I have.
But don't you; Ally, feel a bit odd,
when you miss my face?

Don't replace me Ally,
Why do you miss my soul?
I am just a peice,
not a carbon-copy of the whole.

I know I'm an emissary,
Just a little reluctant to accept the role,
But I beleive in this work,
With every bit of my soul.
So bless me in my weakness,
Make my soul stand strong.
Because no matter how I look,
If I serve you,
I can't go wrong.

Summer Camp Blues

well, first day of summer camp blues and that was because it is Sunday. Today we got off early at 5 and everybody went to Prescott to shop, which I abstained from, which is why I am lonely and sad and have time to write this little post. Things here have been a little bit diffucult lately, no one here is a hint religous, I only here the Lords name when it is used in vain. Most of the questions and respect are good but there have been questions asked where they don't want an answer, they just want to ask a diffucult question. I have done nicely though firing from the hip like JOHN WAYNE (or GRAMPA CROSBY) Church was bad too, not only did I not know anyone but there like was no youth, there were 5 of them and 4 of them left (including me) after sacrament meeting. I didn't want to make my ride who came out to get me stay. I didn't want to stay either. Which is bad because I got up and bore my testimony and then left after. I'm hoping to go to Prescott single ward next week, but I'll see if that Rick guy who lives on campus and who is LDS still lives here and goes every Sunday.

Everything truly is fine and dandy, but it wouldn't hurt to pray for better Sundays...

Quotes

"When the kids see you, you are John Wayne. BE John Wayne"
-Tim Magell

"Can I pack heat on the horse"
- Frank, Franky, or Francios the frenchman
Seriously he asked this, his secret friend gave him a toy pistol which he accidentally was wearing.

Orme Summer Camp

Well now I am at Orme Summer Ranch Camp. I have already saddled and caught a horse and tonight I will saddle and ride my own. At this point I am still a greeny, but soon I will be, in the words of summer camp leader Tim Magelle "John Wayne." I have had a blast so far and the experience looks promising. I'll filled an odd role so far, those of you who know me, know this is weird, they think of me as the "Mormon kid who goes into his room to read all the time, and is really quite" I really am intimidated by this enviroment really but Ally has been really nice and taught me how to saddle etc. and Pete really took me uinder his wing for the first 30 minutes (then I retreated to his room.) The boots fill great, and so do the wranglers. The only complaint that I have with clothes is I killed four, what they say is, Daddy Longlegs after shaking my pants to loose the after one night infestation. The only complaint I have with that classification of the Daddy Longlegs is that they have major ghetto Booty and I remember them more like my sister Leslie. lol. I can't wait to get crackin with all the kids and everyone here, and it might be a little diffucult. But no matter what I must remember, "Be John Wayne"